Right at the end of the big wall of vibrators, $29.95, big rubber fist. Thirty bucks! Just in time for mothers day.

I love when you get boner spam for boner pills and the subject is Be a better lover. Oh, the boner was the problem on that? That's why I'm a bad lover? Do you have a pill that's gonna make me care if she cums? That would be a medical miracle.

Nothing against comedy clubs, they work. But when you're sitting with a tablecloth and a candle and an appetizer menu, three-drink minimum, it can feel more like a dinner theater than a live experience.

The whole institution of marriage itself really has no place in a progressive society.

If you get offended by words - by noises we make with our mouths - it means you were raised by bad parents.

If you're going to kill yourself just do me one favor: say it was because of my act. Can you do that? I need the press.

High definition ruined a lot of things that I used to hold sacrosanct in pornography.