Raccoons don't need to do poppers in order to come while they're having anonymous same-sex interludes in a highway rest area.

Get the right to marry - and then don't.

Did you ever try to sleep sober?

Paralympics... fascinating because just watching anyone with a major disability trying to do everyday chores is fun to watch.

How do you pledge allegiance to a government? That's all America is: a government. There's no such thing as 'we're Americans.' That's just trivial bullshit to get you rooting for the home team. You're not an American. You're a guy, you're a person, you're an individual.

So you stick something up your ass, and you hope it might work, and it usually helps.

I couldn't possibly explain why the common person would be against something like that. It's all rooted in sexual hang-ups. The whole institution of marriage itself really has no place in a progressive society. I don't know why anyone would want to get married heterosexually, so why they'd be against homosexual marriage is flummoxing. I only use that word when I'm talking to someone from the British press.