Steal my stuff off the internet wherever you can and don't apologize. Buy the CDs and DVDs from my site and feel free to burn 'em and share 'em. Then come to the show.

I am a player in life, not an observer. I look at herpes the way you look at a scraped knee.

There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.

All traditions are stupid unless you came up with it yourself.

Coward is the most misused word in our society.

I sometimes wonder if necrophiliacs are really into dead people or if they just enjoy the quiet.

Boredom is a disease worse than cancer. Drugs cure it.