Child pornography is the only crime that you cannot report to the police as an eyewitness.
Have you ever thought about registering as a sex offender just so your friends won't bring their kids over to your house?
All traditions are stupid unless you came up with it yourself.
Anything that I don't understand or can't do is stupid.
I do good things in my life, too. It's just that none of them are funny.
If I have to be a monotheist, y'know pick one, I'm picking vodka, it goes well with everything, all occasions.