I've done coke 'til my nose was bleeding like the fourth week of Lilith Fair.

People wrestle alligators but not once has someone done it without an audience.

He's my usual type of fan... a school shooter who didn't have bullets and now he's all awkward and alone.

If I say f*** the government, some will clap because they agree and some will clap just because you said f***. I've had countless audience members offer me free drugs but I also got free hernia surgery.

All traditions are stupid unless you came up with it yourself.

There should be no such thing as a vice law. Every vice is only a bad habit, and the punishment is inherent in the act.

If you really believe death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seatbelt?