Here's the path to sobriety: Play the Ron Paul drinking game. Watch CNN and take a drink every time someone says his name.

Old people always tell you: 'When you've been around as long I have, then you can argue.' As soon as they're ripped off, it's a different story.

"This is Lakshmi Singh." It's like a tadpole dying in muck. Take a drink. Wet your mouth.

Boredom is a disease worse than cancer. Drugs cure it.

You want to help mother Earth? Try sodomy. Sodomy is eco-friendly, and abortion is green.

I'll defend child pornography, how about that? What's wrong with seeing some child pornography? What if you watch child pornography because you find it hilarious? Then should it not a protected freedom of speech?

I'm pretty drunk and bored with yelling at the stone walls that are your minds.