Trannies dress up like women, then try to bang straight guys. They're the adrenaline junkies of gayness.

Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.

Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?

Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.

People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.

When being interviewed by a woman for a job, never begin with listen up doll face.

Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.