I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.

Marriage is supposed to be permanent. It's like a tattoo that yells at you.

Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.

Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.

Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?

Great marriages are like the Higgs Boson particle, its existence has been theorized, but no one has ever seen one.

My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.