I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Latin women enjoy being women more than other women.

My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.

If no-eye contact sex were a sport, I'm not saying I'd make it to the Olympics, but I like my chances.

I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.

I'd spend more time with you if you were less like you.