The fabric of society is woven together by the needle of suppression and denial.

Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.

The Middle East is America's 'champagne room'. No matter how much you spend, you will still never get what you want.

Marriage is supposed to be permanent. It's like a tattoo that yells at you.

I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.

You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.

You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.