Marriage is supposed to be permanent. It's like a tattoo that yells at you.

Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.

Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.

Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.

America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.

Quality thoughts will turn their back on you if you don't treat them with respect.

Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.