I'm no quitter, unless it comes to human relationships or math and science.

Nothing good about the sun if you're trying to watch television with out curtains.

I'd like you much better if you didn't like yourself so much.

Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.

Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.

I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.

The Middle East is America's 'champagne room'. No matter how much you spend, you will still never get what you want.