Trust me, kids - your homework can wait. Don't need to be doing homework while Whose Line is on; skip it!

I have a position of indirect respect and oblique power.

Being a celebrity you always get really good seats to sporting events but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports. So one of the scams I have going now is I want to learn sports photography so I can get better seats at a sporting event.

Listen, you don't know any better so I'll just tell you. You can't try to save money by not having the right beer. You know, you can skip having medical insurance, you can buy everything you own at a swap meet but the right beer is what makes living like this possible.

Who ever thought that the world-famous Captain Obvious was really mild-mannered Colin Mochrie?

I think that if anyone bothered to take a survey, they would find a sharp decline in atheism during the winters in Cleveland, Ohio.

The TV season is a year-long thing now, and the networks are starting to look at it that way, thanks to cable, satellites, and competition.