Trust me, kids - your homework can wait. Don't need to be doing homework while Whose Line is on; skip it!

I remember when I took a temp job... so I got a job at a department store. Something temporary to put on my resume, my parents said. Yeah... till I die!

There's nothing like the energy in a small comedy club room or a small theater when it's going really well. I can see everybody's face practically in the whole room. There's no cameras in the way, and it's just me.

If I wasn't a comic or TV star, I really wanted to be a photojournalist.

When I'm working, I'm going to avoid all media. No newspapers, no magazines, no movies, no radio, no TV. I'm just going to do creative work.

Why is everybody afraid of going to Heaven? You want to be here with the smog and the sin and bad people and the war? Or do you want to be in Heaven, sitting next to Jesus, you know?

Nevada's one of the most conservative states in the Union, but you can do what you want in Vegas and nobody judges you.