George Carlin is kind of my template now because George Carlin before was straight laced regular comic and he had short hair, a tie, suit, nightclub guy. Then he said screw it, let his hair grow, just started telling what he thought was the truth. So that's what I'm trying to do.

Hollywood people are filled with guilt: white guilt, liberal guilt, money guilt. They feel bad that they're so rich, they feel they don't work that much for all that money - and they don't, for the amount of money they make.

What right does a politician have to tell me what I can and cannot watch? Change the channel if you don't like what's on TV!

I wish I could end every rap song I didn't like with a buzzer.

In any other job, they're truck drivers. In show-biz, they're Transportation Captains.

Violence doesn't solve anything? World War I. World War II. Star Wars. Every Super Bowl. Who says violence doesn't solve anything?

George Carlin is kind of my template now because George Carlin before was straight laced regular comic and he had short hair, a tie, suit, nightclub guy. Then he said screw it, let his hair grow, just started telling what he thought was the truth. So that's what I'm trying to do.