Libertarians are essentially what the Republicans were 30 years ago. Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan. They'd all fit more under the Libertarian label than the modern day Republican label.

I wish I could end every rap song I didn't like with a buzzer.

Trust me, kids - your homework can wait. Don't need to be doing homework while Whose Line is on; skip it!

One day I was running around playing with my son Connor when afterwards I was sweating, tired and out of breath. I was embarrassed that something as enjoyable as playing with my son was so tough for me to do. Immediately I started an extensive diet and exercise plan. It completely changed my life and helped cure my Type-2 diabetes.

Violence doesn't solve anything? World War I. World War II. Star Wars. Every Super Bowl. Who says violence doesn't solve anything?

When I play poker, I don't like losing the pot.

After all, game shows are not like working in a coal mine.