Hollywood people are filled with guilt: white guilt, liberal guilt, money guilt. They feel bad that they're so rich, they feel they don't work that much for all that money - and they don't, for the amount of money they make.

I used to go to the library all the time when I was kid. As a teenager, I got a book on how to write jokes at the library, and that, in turn, launched my comedy career.

I'm competitive at everything.

The laughs are honestly bigger, ... They are the kind of unexpected belly laughs you get with your friends during conversation.

What right does a politician have to tell me what I can and cannot watch? Change the channel if you don't like what's on TV!

I'm not against ratings per se. I think more information is always good. But I certainly don't think the government has to step in and set guidelines for how shows should be rated.

My cranky cardiologist says I'm destined to die in the kitchen.