In any other job, they're truck drivers. In show-biz, they're Transportation Captains.

I'm competitive at everything.

Every election I have to hold my nose to vote.

It sucks being fat, you know.

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

If frogs could fly... well we'd still be in this mess, but wouldn't it be neat?

You know what I worry about? I worry that when I hit my head, it pushes my hair into my brain, and it will eventually kill me.