We'll never see national shows with 45 shares again.

Sometimes I like [being famous], sometimes I don't. I've always been a people watcher. I like to go to malls and just sit, and I can't do that very easily anymore.

George Carlin is kind of my template now because George Carlin before was straight laced regular comic and he had short hair, a tie, suit, nightclub guy. Then he said screw it, let his hair grow, just started telling what he thought was the truth. So that's what I'm trying to do.

I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian.

I work with a place in Santa Monica called Phase IV. My doctor recommended them to me when I started losing weight. They help people train for things like triathlons or biking and running races. They offer physical therapists, testing, lectures.

Libertarians are essentially what the Republicans were 30 years ago. Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan. They'd all fit more under the Libertarian label than the modern day Republican label.

I wish I could end every rap song I didn't like with a buzzer.