I don't think there's hardly a comic out there that does clean material all the way around. There's a couple of guys that are clean, but I'm not one of them.

I could still eat a cheeseburger if I wanted to. I just can't have them every day.

The people of Cleveland hate soccer. But it's my favourite thing and I follow the U.S. men's national team around when they play whenever I can.

I was just sick of being fat, you know? You get sick of it. It just really, it's a tiring lifestyle to have.

I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.

I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's albums, George Carlin, Flip Wilson.

I do get the comics online I guess but it's such a pain. I'd rather just get them in the paper and read them.