I don't think there's hardly a comic out there that does clean material all the way around. There's a couple of guys that are clean, but I'm not one of them.

Eating crappy food isn't a reward -- it's a punishment.

Some people don't like competition because it makes them work harder, better.

Isn't it amazing that the Germans call their city halls 'rat houses'? That's what we should call our city halls!

Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with.

I am never out there just jogging for the heck of it. I never do that. I start to run with a goal in mind, whether it's a certain time or certain distance or a specific heart-rate goal, and then I am done.

I'm not against ratings per se. I think more information is always good. But I certainly don't think the government has to step in and set guidelines for how shows should be rated.