There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

As far as exercising goes... watch for my next book, How I died while Jogging.

I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian.

International soccer has been a big part of my love for the sport. I love the Men's National Team. I can say that they're my favorite sports team.

I'm the kind of person that likes what I'm doing when I'm doing it.

Look, this is an odd question, but you're kind of cute and you're pretty nice to me. Are you drunk? It's OK if you are.

Just because a guy has a shaved head, pierced nipples, and doesn't have sex with women doesn't make him gay. It just makes him down on his luck.