The Marines was a fresh start - that is why they shave your head. I wish they would let you change your name.

I've always got stuff in my head in case I meet somebody like Steven Spielberg or someone like that, where I can hopefully say something to them that nobody else has ever said and get a laugh out of them.

I tried out for 'Jeopardy' once, when they came to Cleveland, but I didn't make it.

I learned how to believe in myself. Learned how to set goals, you know, self help books man. I just read every single one I can get a hold of, and I still do.

Boy, a drive-through liquor store. God bless America! A place where you can drive through and buy whiskey, beer... just the thing for that drunk driver who's constantly on the go. Cant stop now! I've got places to go, people to hit!

What right does a politician have to tell me what I can and cannot watch? Change the channel if you don't like what's on TV!

I'm not a good lover, but at least I'm fast.