I always thought I was going to die before I was 60.

International soccer has been a big part of my love for the sport. I love the Men's National Team. I can say that they're my favorite sports team.

Just because a guy has a shaved head, pierced nipples, and doesn't have sex with women doesn't make him gay. It just makes him down on his luck.

Everybody in Hollywood loves symbolic gestures.

I have a position of indirect respect and oblique power.

Listen, you don't know any better so I'll just tell you. You can't try to save money by not having the right beer. You know, you can skip having medical insurance, you can buy everything you own at a swap meet but the right beer is what makes living like this possible.

I moved from Cleveland to L.A. with a girlfriend, we broke up, and I lived out of my car for a year and a half, on the road with nothing on my mind but getting my act good enough to be on 'The Tonight Show.'