I always thought I was going to die before I was 60.

My cranky cardiologist says I'm destined to die in the kitchen.

I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself.

I used to go to the Cleveland Comedy Club all the time. If there was a comic I liked, I'd go see him two or three times that week. Bob Saget was one of those guys.

When I play poker, I don't like losing the pot.

Listen, you don't know any better so I'll just tell you. You can't try to save money by not having the right beer. You know, you can skip having medical insurance, you can buy everything you own at a swap meet but the right beer is what makes living like this possible.

Yeah, apparently chasing a bus uses different muscles than sitting and eating.