I remember when I took a temp job... so I got a job at a department store. Something temporary to put on my resume, my parents said. Yeah... till I die!

Everybody in Hollywood loves symbolic gestures.

The economy is in trouble, schools are in trouble, and people have been leaving the city in droves for a long, long time.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

Why is everybody afraid of going to Heaven? You want to be here with the smog and the sin and bad people and the war? Or do you want to be in Heaven, sitting next to Jesus, you know?

Some people don't like competition because it makes them work harder, better.

You know what I worry about? I worry that when I hit my head, it pushes my hair into my brain, and it will eventually kill me.