When I thought I was retired, I wanted to travel around the world and watch soccer games.

Who ever thought that the world-famous Captain Obvious was really mild-mannered Colin Mochrie?

As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything. If you do, you're screwed.

I don't do one show and wish I was doing something else.

The laughs are honestly bigger, ... They are the kind of unexpected belly laughs you get with your friends during conversation.

When I'm working, I'm going to avoid all media. No newspapers, no magazines, no movies, no radio, no TV. I'm just going to do creative work.

Living in Hollywood, you can get disconnected from everybody. You can feel like you are the only one.