There is no such thing as too much fun. People need to know it is O.K. to tell jokes and be happy.

The people of Cleveland hate soccer. But it's my favourite thing and I follow the U.S. men's national team around when they play whenever I can.

Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.

It sucks being fat, you know.

I think that if anyone bothered to take a survey, they would find a sharp decline in atheism during the winters in Cleveland, Ohio.

My fans are pretty normal, they are always really nice and polite, and they don't interrupt my meals.

I learned how to believe in myself. Learned how to set goals, you know, self help books man. I just read every single one I can get a hold of, and I still do.