There is no such thing as too much fun. People need to know it is O.K. to tell jokes and be happy.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look at people who aren't doing better than they are.

The difference between Las Vegas and Atlantic City is the difference between getting conned by a beautiful call girl and getting mugged by a crack head.

Being a celebrity you always get really good seats to sporting events but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports. So one of the scams I have going now is I want to learn sports photography so I can get better seats at a sporting event.

I love doing 'The Price is Right.' It's so much fun. I love meeting everybody and giving out prizes, especially when it's not my money. It's really a happy place, and everybody is all jazzed up.

I was raised by just my mom. See, my father died when I was eight years old. At least, that's what he told us in the letter.