I think that if anyone bothered to take a survey, they would find a sharp decline in atheism during the winters in Cleveland, Ohio.

I just try to get people to laugh - I'm not trying to change the world or anything.

And for you kids watching at home, remember, the less homework you do and the closer you sit to the TV, the more points you get.

What good is democracy if you can't get what you want?

Sometimes I like [being famous], sometimes I don't. I've always been a people watcher. I like to go to malls and just sit, and I can't do that very easily anymore.

Funniest thing happened though, you wouldn't believe it, ha, the mannequins came to life. I went insane.

I used to go to the Cleveland Comedy Club all the time. If there was a comic I liked, I'd go see him two or three times that week. Bob Saget was one of those guys.