Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.

I've always got stuff in my head in case I meet somebody like Steven Spielberg or someone like that, where I can hopefully say something to them that nobody else has ever said and get a laugh out of them.

What right does a politician have to tell me what I can and cannot watch? Change the channel if you don't like what's on TV!

I am never out there just jogging for the heck of it. I never do that. I start to run with a goal in mind, whether it's a certain time or certain distance or a specific heart-rate goal, and then I am done.

There's a game called Checkout where there's grocery items and it's how much you think the manufacturer's suggested retail price is and we add up your total, then your total has to be within $2 of the regular total. I don't think I could ever win that game.

As far as exercising goes... watch for my next book, How I died while Jogging.

I loved the old stories in National Lampoon, like the original story the movie Vacation was based on. I used to laugh at them until I cried.