When I play poker, I don't like losing the pot.

Who ever thought that the world-famous Captain Obvious was really mild-mannered Colin Mochrie?

I can't do that. I'm already the single guy living in his parents' house. I can't be seen digging a grave in the middle of the night.

I think that if anyone bothered to take a survey, they would find a sharp decline in atheism during the winters in Cleveland, Ohio.

Vegas is everything that's right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours a day. They've effectively legalized everything there.

There's nothing like the energy in a small comedy club room or a small theater when it's going really well. I can see everybody's face practically in the whole room. There's no cameras in the way, and it's just me.

That's the great thing about having your friends around you. I've known these guys forever. I really enjoy their company just as people. You couldn't ask for a better work environment.