The laughs are honestly bigger, ... They are the kind of unexpected belly laughs you get with your friends during conversation.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's albums, George Carlin, Flip Wilson.

I like to think of my house as nothing more than a glorified console for my television; the ultimate stereo cabinet.

I moved from Cleveland to L.A. with a girlfriend, we broke up, and I lived out of my car for a year and a half, on the road with nothing on my mind but getting my act good enough to be on 'The Tonight Show.'

Libertarians are conservatives who still get high.

We'll never see national shows with 45 shares again.