The laughs are honestly bigger, ... They are the kind of unexpected belly laughs you get with your friends during conversation.

If I wasn't a comic or TV star, I really wanted to be a photojournalist.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

If you're wearing a Bluetooth thing and you've got that thing on your belt, you are working for somebody else. You are not the guy in charge. That's a really good social status indicator.

I don't run outside, honestly. Sometimes I go out around my house, but mainly it's the stupid treadmill. I wish I had a better answer, but I'm very businesslike about my runs.

I'm not a good lover, but at least I'm fast.

And for you kids watching at home, remember, the less homework you do and the closer you sit to the TV, the more points you get.