Vodka is a very deceptive drink, because you drink it and you think, "What is this? This is pointless! It's - you can't taste it, you can't smell it... Why did we waste our money on this, bloody - why are we on a traffic island?"

We all know smoking is bad. I know I'm going to quit someday, if I thought I wasn't I'd quit now.

You can't please everyone, nor should you seek to, because then you won't please anyone, least of all yourself.

I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.

Two young, fit, healthy attractive people in love? There’s nothing worse to look at in the world.

You see the button with the guy with the tray, and you push it, and he arrives with a sandwich! And you think: "Yes! Yes! I control sandwich monkey! I live in magic land, magic land, magic land"

Because their bones are growing, they can only sleep in certain positions, obviously. The crucifix and the swastika tend to be the most popular. Sometimes a combination of the two.