Vodka is a very deceptive drink, because you drink it and you think, "What is this? This is pointless! It's - you can't taste it, you can't smell it... Why did we waste our money on this, bloody - why are we on a traffic island?"

Everybody is corrupted by hotel rooms. You can't help it. It's the only place in the world where you walk in and the first think you do is steal everything before you take your coat off.

He could dismiss several schools of philosophy by shifting slightly in his chair or toting his whisky glass.

I've lived in the UK for longer than I lived in Ireland. I'm not worried about myself, but it's ridiculous for youngsters.

You learn very very quickly that it is mostly about swearing, actually. That's all you're doing, swearing, in a box with wheels.

What are children anyway? Midget drunks. They greet you in the morning by kneeing you in the face and talking gibberish. They can't even walk straight.

Tequila? It's not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone.