When a man dies, and his kin are glad of it, they say, "He is better off."

Reading is like permitting a man to talk a long time, and refusing you the right to answer.

Half the promises people say were never kept, were never made.

It is hard to convince a high-school student that he will encounter a lot of problems more difficult than those of algebra and geometry.

I have long been disposed to judge men by their average. If it is reasonably high, I am charitable with faults that look pretty black.

In thousands of years there has been no advance in public morals, in philosophy, in religion or in politics, but the advance in business has been the greatest miracle the world has ever known.

Put cream and sugar on a fly and it tastes very much like a raspberry.