When a man dies, and his kin are glad of it, they say, "He is better off."

There is always a type of man who says he loves his fellow men, and expects to make a living at it.

A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.

When a man once gets a start holding office, it is nearly always necessary to finally choke him off.

Loving everybody is polygamy. I care for no friend who loves his enemy equally well.

I express many absurd opinions. But I am not the first man to do it; American freedom consists largely in talking nonsense.

How good we all are, in theory, to the old; and how in fact we wish them to wander off like old dogs, die without bothering us, and bury themselves.