The most agreeable thing in life is worthy accomplishment. It is not possible that the idle tramp is as contented as the farmers along the road who own their own farms, and whose credit is good at the bank in town. When the tramps get together at night, they abuse the farmers, but do not get as much satisfaction out of it as do the farmers who abuse the tramps. The sounder your argument, the more satisfaction you get out of it.

When a man dies, and his kin are glad of it, they say, "He is better off."

Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other.

When you can't do anything else to a boy, you can make him wash his face.

Every man is a reformer until reform tramps on his toes.

Marriage is a good deal like a circus: there is not as much in it as is represented in the advertising.

You can make up a quarrel, but it will always show where it was patched.