The government is mainly an expensive organization to regulate evildoers, and tax those who behave: government does little for fairly respectable people except annoy them.

To be an ideal guest, stay at home.

We must be truthful and fair in the ordinary affairs of life before we can be truthful and fair in patriotism and religion.

There must be some good in the cocktail party to account for its immense vogue among otherwise sane people.

Even if a farmer intends to loaf, he gets up in time to get an early start.

The feeling of sleepiness when you are not in bed, and can't get there, is the meanest feeling in the world.

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.