Success does not mean happiness: it means an unusual number of industrious enemies.

A thief believes everybody steals.

You can't do anything unless you do it yourself. And usually you can't do it yourself very well.

When you can't do anything else to a boy, you can make him wash his face.

When a man is trying to sell you something, don't imagine he is that polite all the time.

The government is mainly an expensive organization to regulate evildoers, and tax those who behave: government does little for fairly respectable people except annoy them.

A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around.