There's only one kind of tax that would please everybody - one that nobody but the other guy has to pay.
A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women - but not far enough to lose his balance.
The man who didn't want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise.
No horse can go as fast as the money you put on it.
Money in the bank is like toothpaste in the tube. Easy to take out, hard to put back.
An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.