Mathematics-a wonderful science, but it hasn't yet come up with a way to divide one tricycle between three small boys.

The man who didn't want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise.

Women's liberation will not be achieved until a woman can become paunchy and bald and still think she's attractive to the opposite sex.

No horse can go as fast as the money you put on it.

The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.

Today, there are three kinds of people: the haves, the have-nots, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves.

Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.