To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible.
Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.
There's only one kind of tax that would please everybody - one that nobody but the other guy has to pay.
You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.
A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women - but not far enough to lose his balance.
Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.