A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women - but not far enough to lose his balance.

Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?

Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.

Saying 'Gesundheit' doesn't really help the common cold - but its about as good as anything the doctors have come up with.

Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

Many a standing ovation has been caused by someone jumping to his feet in an effort to beat the rest of the audience to the parking lot.

Success is a matter of luck. If you want proof, ask any failure.