To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible.

Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.

Mathematics-a wonderful science, but it hasn't yet come up with a way to divide one tricycle between three small boys.

Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.

Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?