He's so snobbish he has an unlisted zip-code.

Saying 'Gesundheit' doesn't really help the common cold - but its about as good as anything the doctors have come up with.

This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.

A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.

Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Many a standing ovation has been caused by someone jumping to his feet in an effort to beat the rest of the audience to the parking lot.