Women's liberation will not be achieved until a woman can become paunchy and bald and still think she's attractive to the opposite sex.

Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back

This is the age of bargain hunters. If it had been this way in biblical times, we'd probably have been offered another commandment free if we had accepted the first ten.

He's so snobbish he has an unlisted zip-code.

Mathematics-a wonderful science, but it hasn't yet come up with a way to divide one tricycle between three small boys.

Somebody figured it out- we have 35 million laws trying to enforce Ten Commandments.

Today's accent may be on youth, but the stress is still on the parents.