Women's liberation will not be achieved until a woman can become paunchy and bald and still think she's attractive to the opposite sex.

The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.

Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?

Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call to duty.

A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women - but not far enough to lose his balance.

Today, there are three kinds of people: the haves, the have-nots, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves.