Many a standing ovation has been caused by someone jumping to his feet in an effort to beat the rest of the audience to the parking lot.
Somebody figured it out- we have 35 million laws trying to enforce Ten Commandments.
To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible.
Poise: the ability to be ill at ease inconspicuously.
He's so snobbish he has an unlisted zip-code.
Mathematics-a wonderful science, but it hasn't yet come up with a way to divide one tricycle between three small boys.