Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.
An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.
Mathematics-a wonderful science, but it hasn't yet come up with a way to divide one tricycle between three small boys.
A woman may race to get a man a gift but it always ends in a tie.
A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.
Today, there are three kinds of people: the haves, the have-nots, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves.