Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call to duty.

Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

There's only one kind of tax that would please everybody - one that nobody but the other guy has to pay.

Mathematics-a wonderful science, but it hasn't yet come up with a way to divide one tricycle between three small boys.

He was so honest you could play craps with him over the phone.

This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.

Women's liberation will not be achieved until a woman can become paunchy and bald and still think she's attractive to the opposite sex.