A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women - but not far enough to lose his balance.
A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.
Many a standing ovation has been caused by someone jumping to his feet in an effort to beat the rest of the audience to the parking lot.
The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.
He was so honest you could play craps with him over the phone.
The man who didn't want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise.