Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Modern man drives a mortgaged car over a bond-financed highway on credit-card gas.

There's only one kind of tax that would please everybody - one that nobody but the other guy has to pay.

Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in the air.

Many a standing ovation has been caused by someone jumping to his feet in an effort to beat the rest of the audience to the parking lot.

Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.