No horse can go as fast as the money you put on it.

Mathematics-a wonderful science, but it hasn't yet come up with a way to divide one tricycle between three small boys.

An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.

Saying 'Gesundheit' doesn't really help the common cold - but its about as good as anything the doctors have come up with.

There's only one kind of tax that would please everybody - one that nobody but the other guy has to pay.

To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible.

Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.