No horse can go as fast as the money you put on it.

An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.

Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in the air.

Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.

Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call to duty.

A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.

Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.