America is the new Roman Empire. Remember what happened to Rome.

I remember when I was being told about Watergate, and I thought, "Oh, America is not what I think America is." But America is what I think it is. It's just that it's two bits of it, and I don't go with the Republican bit of it. I go more with the Democratic bit.

I'd be happy to be taken as a woman - and that's what I was initially trying to do when I started throwing on dresses and stuff. But that wasn't going to happen because everyone kept calling me sir. So I thought I'd change the method and just start wearing what I wanted to wear.

When you're coming out, you have to deal with the whole world saying 'Oh! You're an abominable snowman'.

I can go from blokey to girlie in 15 minutes and then I'm out the door. But that's the fastest I can do it. Becoming a woman takes work.

My stand-up is quite good now, people say. It's just like a big conversation each time. Every gig is a rehearsal.

That's no good, I can't steal from the fairly well off and give to the moderately impoverished! That's not gonna swing, is it?