America is the new Roman Empire. Remember what happened to Rome.

I'd like to have sex with myself.

Cable cars are fun - everyone gets on board and becomes a rhesus monkey.

In stand-up it really helps to play yourself and talk about your own feelings. You cannot fail to be original if you're just talking about what you think about X, Y and Z. Unless you've got a twin brother who's also a stand-up.

I want to be a taxidermist! I wanna fill animals with sand. I wanna get more sand into an animal than anybody has ever bloody got in one. I wanna fill a rat with the entire Gobi Desert, so it’s really quite tight.

My stand-up is quite good now, people say. It's just like a big conversation each time. Every gig is a rehearsal.

If you get anything creative going, then the work and play thing is the same thing, I feel.