If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.

So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!

Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others.

Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. OK, we can swing with that. But performance 'debilitating' drugs should not be banned. Smoke a joint and win the 100 metres, fair play for you. That's pretty good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off in the distance.

Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).

If you can be your own force of nature and have a positive heart, then you can actually do something good in the world.

Everyone gets cards at the beginning of life. I am transgender, I decided to be honest and tell everyone about it, and that's it.