I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.

I did bronze survival swimming. I could save people in a bronzey kind of way.

You're gay, you sell books... you probably shag the books.

Two languages in one brain? No one can live at that speed!

If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.

Because we all know one of the main factors of war is the element of surprise. And what could be more surprising than the First Batallion Transvestite Brigade? Airborne Wing.

You notice how they always put the fruit and veg at the entrance to the supermarket? You go in thinking 'this is a fresh shop, everything in here is FRESH! I will do well to shop here'. You never go straight to the bit with the toilet paper, loo brushes and such do you? You'd think 'this is a POO shop! Everything in here is themed on POO!