No matter how much makeup I wore, people just kept saying "Yes, sir! Would you like tea with that, sir?" "Yes, I would like tea. Why don't you put it on my breasts?" "Certainly. Tea for this man's breasts! Anything else, sir?"

It's a historical thing, up to the 19th century the English hated the French. Then in the 20th century the English started to hate the Germans - as we began to move alphabetically through the map of the world. Now, the year 2000, we are fine with the Germans... but the Hungarians are pissing us off.

When you're coming out, you have to deal with the whole world saying 'Oh! You're an abominable snowman'.

I'd be happy to be taken as a woman - and that's what I was initially trying to do when I started throwing on dresses and stuff. But that wasn't going to happen because everyone kept calling me sir. So I thought I'd change the method and just start wearing what I wanted to wear.

The Pope is guarded by the Swiss guard who stand proudly in pajamas and silly hats.

If you can be your own force of nature and have a positive heart, then you can actually do something good in the world.

Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that's the deal.