Up with skirts, down with pants!'

I will be a model prisoner, as I have been a model citizen

I never speak ill of dead people or live judges.

The only thing that would keep me from winning the election is to be caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy

People say I've had brushes with the law. That's not true! I've had brushes with overzealous prosecutors!

The only place where David Duke and I are alike is we are both wizards under the sheets.

Up with skirts, down with pants!'