As a standup comedian, I've worked almost every New Year's Eve of my adult life. It's the best-paying night of the year.

What do hookers do on their nights off, type?

Here is what is needed for Occupy Wall Street to become a force for change: a clear, and clearly expressed, objective. Or two.

I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.'

Most people love animals, and most people love to laugh. Combining the two makes both resonate deeper.

For a single woman, preparing for company means wiping the lipstick off the milk carton.

My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.