I think when you take off that jacket and they see that ‘I LOVE GRANDMA’ T-shirt, they’re going to rip your heart out.

There's only one difference between Jews and Catholics. Jews are born with guilt, and Catholics have to go to school to learn it.

The message of great art is to disturb.

I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots.

Now that the Court has declared money to be speech, I say we replace the current Court with some Ben Franklins, Thomas Jeffersons, George Washingtons, a couple of Susan B. Anthony's, Roosevelts, Hamiltons, a Sacajawea or two, and an Abe Lincoln to cover Scalia in full.

Real comedy can't be learned; it comes from a need for justice. The best who stand up, stand up for something.

You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport.