Have you noticed that if you leave the laundry in the hamper long enough, it's ready to wear again?

A man who was loved by 300 woman singled me out to live with him. Why? I was the only one without a cat.

Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?

Why isn't the movie industry forced to open its shooting locations to an organization that is there to advocate for animal actors? The industry isn't allowed to pick and choose which movies using young children it will or won't allow to be monitored. The vulnerable should be protected.

My mother always said you could eat off her floor; you could eat of my floor too, there's so much food down there.

Many animal rescue organizations hit with a hard-core, heartbreaking message. Their videos and stories can become difficult for average people to watch. By taking a more positive, heartwarming approach to animal rescue, I've been able to engage people and keep them engaged for years. Instead of selling the agony and misery - and sadly, there is no shortage of that - I start with the happy endings. I work backwards so the first message they get is joy and success due to their involvement. Opening the mind with humor and joy gets the rescue message in that much deeper.

I always had a running commentary in my head that was extremely funny and off-center, but I never said it to anyone.