My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.

Sometimes, if you really don't know how you feel about a topic, reading how both sides argue it can help.

My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.

When the sun comes up, I have morals again.

Every time we help an animal, we are healing ourselves, over and over.

As a standup comedian, I've worked almost every New Year's Eve of my adult life. It's the best-paying night of the year.

I’ve thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent.